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Poliziottesco alla Persiana / B-Movies Film Farsi Apocalypse

Poliziottesco alla Persiana / B-Movies Film Farsi Apocalypse

Spineless Laugh

Poliziottesco alla Persiana / B-Movies Film Farsi Apocalypse

Poliziottesco alla Persiana / B-Movies Film Farsi Apocalypse

Si son pure scomodati a inventare una parola ad hoc per tutto questo, pensa te: film farsi.
L’ha coniata un certo Houshang Kavoosi, che sarebbe l’Enrico Ghezzi mediorientale, e sta proprio ad indicare tutta quella serie di film iraniani di serie B (per usare un eufemismo, dove B è quella lettera che ricomparirebbe al secondo giro, dopo la Z, se l’alfabeto fosse un cerchio) che non son mai stati candidati all’Oscar come miglior opera straniera nè hanno mai ricevuto l’onore di una retrospettiva al cineforum invernale di Marina di Vecchiano (PI), in quanto copiati spudoratamente dai peggiori polpettoni di Bollywood e caratterizzati da una trama da due soldi e personaggi improponibili.

Sesso, violenza, teppisti di strada analfabeti, danzatrici del ventre dai facili costumi, sparatorie, spargimenti di sangue, dialoghi da gangster for dummies: il tutto inspiegabilmente condito da canzoncine travolgenti e gran balli sfrenati.

In altri termini: poliziottesco alla persiana.

Immaginatevi un film con Er Monnezza e Mary Poppins sulle rive dell’Eufrate, dove Bombolo muore sparato ai confini del deserto mentre Edwige Fenech sculetta tutta sudata sotto le palme sulle note di una meravigliosa scala araba (con tutte le difficoltà del caso a causa di quei due bemolle aggiunti al terzo e al sesto grado).

Mi son venuti i brividi solo a scriverlo.

Comunuqe, film farsi: anche in italiano rende abbastanza l’idea. Ma non divaghiamo.
Perchè se la cinematografia era di basso livello, la grafica delle locandine non era da meno.
Ecco quindi una delle più esaustive gallerie di copertine delle colonne sonore dei suddetti lungometraggi, a rendere (solo parzialmente) giustizia a un genere che la rivoluzione del ’79 aveva (giustamente) cancellato dalla memoria storica.

Ebbene sì: se foste entrati nel Blockbuster più grande di Mashhad, quello giù in piazza proprio di fronte alla moschea di Goharshad, a fine anni 70, queste son le facce che avreste incontrato sugli scaffali.
Se a Mashhad giù in piazza di fronte alla moschea ci fosse mai stato un Blockbuster, s’intende.
Una grande sfilata di Thomas Milian del Golfo, di Maurizio Merli tutt’altro che biondi, di Gian Maria Volontè con le sopracciglia (lo so, pare impossibile, e invece) più folte, di Barbara Bouchet corvine col velo lungo e la gonna corta.
Un paradiso trash.

Aspettate che lo scoprano i Calibro 35 e poi un bel revival Teheran Odia: l’Aytollah non può sparare non ce lo toglie nessuno.

 

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